Nipper

Background
There was a time, now sadly long gone, when bookjacket art directors would bravely commission designers without having the foggiest idea of what they'd produce. As mentioned earlier, Penguin's David Pelham was one such risk-taker. He'd simply give you an open brief and hope for the best. And, most of the time, the best duly arrived. In this respect, the '70s and '80s was a golden period for bookjacket design, especially as far as ideas are concerned. Then came the computers and the Philistine stylists...

Brief
Design a bookjacket for 'The Penguin Guide to Stereo Records' - a massive tome that listed trillions of records from pop to classical.

Solution
Couldn't think of a damned idea. Was getting a bit worried as deadline day rapidly approached. I kept thinking about records. And penguins. A penguin conductor in a penguin suit? Nah. Such was my concentration in this area that I almost missed the key word 'stereo'. At the eleventh hour (plus a bit) I had one of those 'eureka!' moments: take HMV's iconic dog 'Nipper' and...

(Looks a bit dog-eared but I suppose it would do after three decades of bouncing around in my beat-up folder.)

Result
Idea accepted and, as yet, haven't been sued by HMV.

Quitting

Background
Having just got used to the sobering fact that I, of all people, was creative director of the Drinkwise campaign, I was then appointed creative head of the 'Quitting is Winning' anti-smoking campaign. Coughed and spluttered straight into my ashtray, sending clouds of ash all over my desk when I heard the news. To help launch the campaign, we needed to attract some media attention. One of our many ideas in this direction was to get some high profile TV stars on board who would support the campaign by very publicly announcing their intent to quit smoking.

Brief
Produce a poster to appear in TV studios to encourage celebrities to sign up to the campaign.

Solution
Mainly typographic with the headline 'Roll up, roll up.'

Result
Quite a few soap stars signed up, which was good. Can't remember if any were successful at giving up fags though. Somehow I doubt it.

Ozzy

Background
BMW (GB) held a series of annual conventions at which all dealer heads would fly off to some exotic location to be briefed on, and to discuss, marketing plans for the forthcoming year. The late '80s had been a very bad period for car manufacturers generally and there was a air of doom and gloom throughout the industry. I picked up on this and adopted a cartoon ostrich as a central theme to run through that year's (1988?) promotional material - the idea being 'don't stick your head in the sand, face up to the difficulties for success in the future'.

Brief
Design invites, welcome packs etc., for the BMW (GB) Florida Convention.

Solution
Applied 'Ozzy' the ostrich (illustrated in many different ways by the great Arthur Robins) in an amusing manner to an extensive list of items that ranged in size from delegates' badges to a huge sports day scoreboard.

Result
Generally a huge success - apart from two minor hiccups... Arthur Robins was bedridden with a slipped disc before he'd completed all the drawings, so I had to do a couple at the last minute mimicking his inimitable style. And... after spending hours the day before the sports day finishing off the massive scoreboard (we had to stick images on with glue, use black electricians' tape to make lines and the wording was done with big Letraset lettering), we arrived the next day to find to our horror that our artwork had been somewhat altered by an unnoticed overnight sprinkler system. But the high point for me was the winner's trophy. Taking its lead from the classic Guinness ads of a bygone era, this consisted of a one foot high sculpted 'Ozzy' head and neck which incorporated a swallowed F.A. Cup-type trophy, painted gold and mounted on a standard black plastic plinth. A work of sheer genius. My finest hour.

Mirror

Background
Honda UK had just introduced some new easy-finance schemes to enable more people to purchase new and used Honda cars.

Brief
Produce an ad that encourages prospective new customers to contact their local Honda dealership in order to find out more about these new methods of purchase.

Solution
I'd noticed that more and more European cars and motorcycles were adopting the American custom of printing the warning message 'vehicles may be closer than you think' in their wing mirrors. So I did a rough of a close-up of a wing mirror reflecting the exterior of a Honda car dealership and changed the line to 'Honda vehicles may be closer than you think'.

Result
Ad rejected either by bird-brained account handler or idiot client. Can't remember which. I was absolutely furious. A bit later, I saw the same idea being used by BMW.

Chocs away

Background
I was a founder member of Aviator, a through-the-line subsidiary of the BDDH ad agency. For the first six months, three of us worked in a tiny basement room. When we doubled in size, we moved to a couple of rooms upstairs. When we doubled again, we moved to a new address.

Brief
Design an Aviator moving card.

Solution
Small white box. 'Chocs away' on lid. Moving card inside box covering a small bar of Aero.

Result
Not sure everybody 'got' the joke. But maybe they did.

Drinkwise at Work

Background
In the third year of the Drinkwise campaign (we had to re-pitch to retain the account each year), the focus was 'the workplace'. Besides the obvious dangers of working under the influence of alcohol (accidents with machinery etc.), thousands of man-hours were, and still are, lost each year through absenteeism, with the subsequent loss of efficiency and revenue. So it's an important issue.

Brief
Produce a poster and and an info pack to send to companies that highlights the issue and advises how best to tackle the problem.

Solution
Considered hard-hitting imagery (severed limbs etc.) but rejected them as being too extreme. Eventually decided on the visually arresting and slightly dada-esque image of a simple red pencil with a rubber at each end. Placed it on a bright yellow background with the headline 'Make no mistake. Alcohol at work doesn't work.'

Result
Idea accepted. Photosetting studio produced artwork (this was just before the computer age). Headline setting came back as 'Mak no mistake. Alcohol at work doesn't work.' Fell about laughing. Still not sure which is the better line.

Frank Thurston

Background
As a student, I can't remember a client ever coming to me for design ideas. So, to get some beer money, I'd sometimes have an idea then go off in search of a client.

Brief
Design a photographer's logo then find a photographer to sell it to.

Solution
Drew a cartoon slice of cheese inside a speech bubble, followed by a sales pitch to Frank Thurston, a freelance photographer and part-time technician in the RCA photography department.

Result
Sold the idea and produced letterheads and business cards. Then went for a few more beers.

26

Background
Somebody (I've forgotten who but I think it was someone at Pentagram) had the bright idea of producing a 'block' desk calendar consisting of 365 tear-off pages (plus intro pages) - page size about 4x4 inches. Various designers, artists and celebrities were each allocated a particular date and invited to produce a single colour (black!) design. As I remember it, there was no theme and any sales profits were to go to charity.

Brief
Do something with... 26th February.

Solution
Scribbled a quick line drawing of a crown that almost filled the page. Then erased the left half. (This was done a bit before decimal coinage was introduced!)

Result
Some people thought it was brilliant. Others were totally confused.

Never do a mate of a mate a favour

Background
A mate of a mate was about to throw a party. Being a bit of a wugger bugger he realised he couldn't have it in his flat because it'd get wrecked. So he'd booked a room above a pub. Being thoroughly disorganised, that was about all he'd done by way of preparation. And time was getting short. Soon as he realised I was a designer, guess who got lumbered with doing the invites.

Brief
"Do me about 100 invites to an 'Ugly Party'. And make 'em cheap."

Solution
Sourced 100 large brown paper bags, tore out two eyeholes in each, then painstakingly hand printed the wording (with my old John Bull printing kit) in the centre of each bag. Total cost: zero.

Result
Moron client decided to cancel the event until such time as he was better organised. So obviously it'll never happen.

Learning For Life

Background
A new government initiative had just been approved to encourage people into achieving goals and learning more. Quadrangle had been tasked with making recommendations about launching the project and they asked me to come up with a few design ideas.

Brief
Design a poster to launch the campaign.

Solution
Dramatic photo of a big blue sky and a few wispy clouds. Headline 'The Limit', positioned centrally, above logo and further info.

Result
Don't think it was ever used but it provided a starting point for discussions. Personally, I thought it was a belter.

The Love Generation

Background
A client kindly recommended me to a chap who worked in the music industry. Operated as a one-man-band, putting together compilation box-sets. Mostly pre-80s stuff, both American and British. Seemed to know everyone in the industry so was able to to get round the usual copyright and royalty barriers with a simple phone call or a quick beer. Living in Nashville probably helped too. Cut out retailers by selling direct through 5 and 10 minute info-commercials on American and European cable TV, featuring old film clips and, of course, the box-set packages. So pack design was critical to the sales process.

Brief
Design a box set for a 4cd compilation of mostly late 60s hits from the pre-Woodstock 'hippy' era entitled 'The Love Generation'.

Solution
Box cover featured a close-up of an iconic two-fingered 'peace' sign, photographed against a blue sky. Smallish title logo but with the word 'Love' drawn in 60s calligraphic style with the 'o' drawn as a heart shape. The four cds and their sleeves each featured a variation of the two-fingered salute - e.g. cd1 had just one finger pointing up, cd2 repeated the two fingers, cd3 three fingers and cd4, yup, you guessed, four fingers.

Result
Quickly became one of the best selling compilation sets ever. Wish I'd now gone for a royalty deal rather than a straight fee.

Alphabet

Background
Years back, one of my two partners was working on a logo/symbol for Alphabet, a photosetting company. Saw he was playing around with a logo that consisted of various different typefaces. Told him it was a bit boring and predictable.

Brief
"Okay smartarse, so what would you do?"

Solution
"Put an apple and a zebra above the word 'Alphabet'."

Result
He did just that, developed a campaign and won a few design awards. Brilliant stuff.

Quadrangle website

Background
After years of being a leading, research-led, brand consultancy, Quadrangle were looking to concentrate on their core strengths and re-launch themselves as a major player in the highly-competitive field of research. In almost every way they looked the part - flash riverside offices by Tower Bridge, hugely impressive track record, posh biscuits in the boardroom, fancy flowers in reception etc. - but they were lacking in one important area...

Brief
Give us a few ideas for a website.

Solution
Took John the gaffer's positioning line 'research for marketing managers'. Thought about it. Didn't like the 'marketing managers' bit. Changed it to 'decision makers' which, at last, opened up some visual possibilities.

Open with shot of about 200 posh chocolates; fade in the word 'Research' at top left; cut to a single chocolate with a bite taken out and add 'for decision makers' after 'Research' at top left.

Adapted this idea for mailers and press ads. Then created two other versions: 1)paint swatch spread followed by a single magnolia swatch, and 2) juke box record selection followed by a specific single (possibly 'Making Your Mind Up' - geddit?)... each with the same 'Research for decision makers' headline.

Result
Website now up and running (though still requires fine tuning - see quadrangle.com), promotional campaign proved hugely successful, Quadrangle put on loads of new biz and I put on a bit of weight at the choccy photoshoot.

Quadrangle symbol

Background
I first met the Quadrangle gang over a quarter of a century ago when they were a fledgling, research-based, marketing consultancy, operating out of a tiny office in Soho.

Brief
"We need a logo and some stationery. Is that the sort of stuff you do?"

Solution
Took the letter 'Q', made it square, focused on the negative shape in the middle, made it positive and Bob's your uncle - one symbol!

Result
Symbol still being used so I think it's stood the test of time, although the Quadrangle lettering's been through a few changes over the years.

Edward de Bono

Background
Penguin Books were to publish a series by Edward de Bono, a lateral thinker of high repute.

Brief
Design the bookjackets as a recognisable series.

Solution
I took the image of Rodin's 'Thinker' and then used it in different ways according to the title. For example, for 'Teaching Thinking' I put a small 'Thinker' alongside a big one. And for 'Lateral Thinking'...

Result
de Bono hated them(!). But David Pelham (Penguin's bold creative director) ignored his complaints and pushed them into production.

An electrical company

Background
I've forgotten their name but there was this electrical company that, typically, had a crap stationery range and corporate identity and we told 'em so.

Brief
"Think you can do better, huh? Well go on then, give us all a laugh." (Almost their exact words.)

Solution
For the stationery range, we simply cut out three oblong holes (like a power point socket) and printed their name underneath. Where cut-outs weren't really practical (van sides etc.), the holes were printed in black.

Result
They liked the idea and we went ahead.

Leagas Delaney

Background
Many years ago I worked at the Leagas Delaney ad agency in Covent Garden. At the time the LD group was rapidly expanding and needed to move to bigger offices up the road.

Brief
Design a moving card.

Solution
Photo of kitchen sink with copyline 'we're moving everything to St. Martin's Lane... etc.'

Result
I'm fairly sure it served its purpose.

Drinkwise

Background
The purpose of the Drinkwise campaign was to increase awareness of alcohol units and sensible drinking levels. It was essentially about education and knowing when to say "no".

Brief
Produce some poster ideas for possible use in medical centres, doctors' waiting rooms and maybe even pubs.

Solution
Lost count of the number of ideas I submitted. Some were given the green light and some were rejected. But one of my all-time favourites was an image of a hand holding an empty beer mug on a rich, wooden bar, with the headline 'Shame again.'

Result
Rejected for being too negative a message.

The Meat and Livestock Commission

Background
One of the many effects of globalisation is an increase in UK meat imports. Some of this meat comes from countries where quality standards fall well below those in the UK. While media publicity is slowly increasing public awareness of this issue, many meat products, especially in supermarkets and restaurants, have no indication of their country of origin. The MLC has recognised this consumer concern as an opportunity to promote the quality aspect of British meat in an increasingly competitive market.

Brief
Produce an ad to appear in The Grocer magazine to outline growing consumer concern about where their meat originates and the quality aspect of 'buying British'.

Solution
Image: photo of cow in field with world map body markings
Headline: Where on earth does all your meat come from?
Subhead: Your customers need to know.

Result
Ad rejected. Cow apparently implied this was a 'beef only' ad(!). Client ran ad with alternative photo of meat warehouse interior showing various carcasses hanging from meat hooks(!) but with same headline. Sometimes I think clients shouldn't be allowed anywhere near their ads.

Cruft's Dog Show

Background
Looking at a Cruft's poster while waiting for a tube train, I had a great idea. Scribbled out a few roughs then contacted the marketing dept. and eventually convinced them that my idea was worth seeing (they were already contracted to an ad. agency).

Brief
Speculative. Design a poster and a range of related support material.

Solution
Headline: Cruft's Dog Show '94
Image: a spitting, defensive cat (suggested illustration by Gerald Scarfe)

Result
Rejected. Shame. Still, I tried.